travel update #3

If you've read this before, please check out my update to the "babies are not allowed" thing. Sorry I didn't explain it right!"more clearly! -------- I am way way way behind on email- I apologize. I'm trying hard to answer it- but between waiting for Tom to call with updates and packing the condo for the move and work, I'm just completely out of both time and sanity. The latest update from Vietnam: [Friday, June 30th] At the orphanage this morning, the babies all had a shared cold and some (including Cupcake) were running little temperatures. So she was kind of out of it. She perked up a lot while Tom was there, but during the G&R ceremony she constantly yawned (I hope they got pictures of that- nothing is cuter than babies yawning ;]). The G&R lasted about an hour, and then Gracie said her goodbyes to her nannies and friends at the orphanage and went home with her daddy and her Nina (her grandma). As soon as they got back to the hotel, they all crashed for naps, and when they woke up, Cupcake was feeling 100% better. They spent the day in the hotel room, just getting to know one another. The nannies told Tom (via translator) that Cupcake is typically very serene and alert, and rarely fusses. Apparently, that was the case yesterday, because she has yet to cry. I'm sure that's coming, though! She doesn't crawl too much, although when she wants something, she'll crawl to get it. She loves loves loves her rattle. She's got two teeth on the bottom and is cutting her top teeth. She doesn't drool much, but her nose runs A LOT. She babbles constantly. Instead of sucking her thumb, she sucks on her finger. She eats A LOT. She fits into 9 month old clothing. Tomorrow (Saturday) was a sight-seeing day. The babies are allowed to sightsee and go out and do everything on the trip. There was just one particular thing with this one trip in which parents were advised to leave the babies at the hotel because the babies' immune systems are still weak and this would have been too much for them. The childcare arranged for the children was excellent (nannies and volunteers from the orphanage- people that the kids already knew and loved) so parents had the option of staying with their child or leaving for a little bit to visit a rural village. It was a chance to see part of Vietnam that most visitors normally don't and get some info/photos for the children to have later. But since this particular day was going to be long, and Tom and his mom are exhausted, they have opted to stay in the hotel and just rest a bit before Adventures in Adopting an Infant begin. Hopefully they'll take a few minutes to SEND ME PHOTOS AND VIDEO and more details on what's going on. Since the G&R has happened, I can now post photos. Here are two that were sent to us in April. As soon as Tom sends me some new photos of Cupcake, I will post them!

travel update #2

As you can see, Tom made it to the orphanage, and to Cupcake. The facilitator took them from the airport to the orphanage so everyone could see their babies, but it's fairly late at night, and they only had a few minutes there before they all went to the hotel. Tom was exhausted, but he describes our Cupcake as sweet, quiet, very observant, and serene. He said that she doesn't fuss, looks at EVERYTHING, and moves her feet constantly. Throughout the whole visit, she was holding a silver paper wrapper. She was sleeping when he got there, so she was a little out of it. One of the nannies was able to make her laugh, as you can see inm the photo. Tom and his mom are back at the hotel now. Tomorrow is Giving and Receiving, and then Cupcake leaves the orphanage, which I'm sure is going to be rough. More as it comes in!

travel update #1

This is sort of easier to keep track of if you think of Vietnam being 12 hours ahead of Eastern time. Tom is traveling with his mom (Patty), and his sister (Cynthia) will join them later in the week. The schedule - Tom left for Vietnam yesterday at around 6:30pm, Eastern time. He and his mom landed in Taipei earlier today (and gave me a quick call) and right now, at around midnight on Thursday Eastern (noon Thursday, Vietnam time), he's landing in Ho Chi Minh City. They'll be met by agency staff at the airport, and they will all travel to Danang together. After arriving in Danang and getting settled into the hotel, Tom and his mom will go to the orphanage and meet Cupcake (Thursday afternoon Vietnam time, early Thursday morning Eastern time). After spending time with her, they'll go back to the hotel for the night. On Friday (noon-ish Vietnam time, very early in the morning Friday Eastern) he and Cupcake will celebrate their G&R (for more info on what that is, and what Tom will be doing on his trip, check out this excellent article), and Tom will leave the orphanage with Cupcake. As soon as I hear anything, I will post. I am hoping he can give me a call from the orphanage so I can hear Cupcake for just a second, talk to her for the very first time. Tom's sister works for Verizon so she managed to snag us a few world-wide cell phones. At over $2 a minute, they aren't cheap, but I'd love to get some sort of info as soon as he can make time to get in touch I just want to hear her breath. Isn't that silly? I just want to hear her make slurpy baby noises. Little mouth breathing. For some reason I have been wondering what she sounds like when she's just being HER. Both Tom and his mom have promised to take a lot of digital photos, and Tom's mom promised me she would jot down little details about each day so I can do journal posts for everyone, in addition to me being up-to-date on what's going on. I hope when they get to their hotel later today, they can get online and send me some updates. I think I'm okay- I feel kinda weird. I'm exhausted from the last few days, and I banged my head earlier on the coffee table (swift, but now I get why babyproofing is so important- it HURT!!), so I think that's contributing to how I feel. It still doesn't seem real. I think it will all sink in, though, when I hear him say "she's amazing." More as soon as I hear anything... I'm going to bed to read and rest my noggin'. I don't imagine there will be much sleeping tonight.

almost time!

Tom leaves for Vietnam in 18 hours. Yikes! The last two days I have been feeling really sick, and it sort of came to a head today. I spent a while in the bathroom, throwing up. I thought it was something I ate, but now I realize it's me being absolutely panicked about this situation. I think I will feel better Wednesday afternoon when Tom's almost done traveling the first leg and I'm finished with the stuff I have to get done right after he goes. Maybe I can enjoy the quiet time... There's so many emotions right now. The first is that Tom is going on a very long trip for a long time. As much as I pretend to be Miss Independent, and was for quite some time, he and I haven't been apart for more than a few days since we got together in 2000. Two weeks is a long time, and I have no idea how I'll feel. I'm trying to think of it as one last quiet stretch before my life Radically Changes and I become someone's mom. But honestly, I could do without it. I'm anxious to hear Tom's description of Cupcake, and finally meet her. Right now it doesn't click that he's actually going to meet Cupcake, and the next time I see him he will be CARRYING her. But I know as the week goes on, I will be very anxious to hear all the details and be in touch. Thank goodness Tom's sister works for Verizon- she managed to get them worldwide cell phones for the trip. In the back of my mind, I'm scared I won't be a good mom. It's hard to write, but I know there will be times when it will be really really hard, and I will be freaking out. And I plan on being honest about it. A few of you have asked what we packed- Tom got a bunch of Coolmax clothes for himself. For medications/health stuff, we used Dr. Aronson's list. Baby items include: - 14 inexpensive onesies (so they can be disposable- I got a million of these at my baby shower) - 10 outfits (mostly shorts and "bubble" thingees) - 2 bottles with several nipples (one is Playtex with the drop ins, and the other is Avent in case she hates the Playtex) - a few days worth of diapers - 3 little packs of travel diaper wipes - a travel kit of baby powder, shampoo, and lotion and other supplies - two paks of disposable bibs, plus 3 cloth ones - 2 hats - bug spray and sunscreen - 2 blankets - socks and 2 pairs of shoes - first aid kit - toys (soft rattle, little doll, stuffed cat that plays music, teething stuff, photo album) - pajamas (with and without footies) - cloth diapers for burping and changing on the go plus tons of toys, clothes, and supplies for the orphanage. As far as gifts: I made the each of the nannies/volunteers at the orphanage necklaces with Red Swarovski crystal hearts on black silk cord. I put them in small gift bags, and in each bag I also added in a small bottle of Healing Garden lotion and a bottle of sheer fragrance plus a Tootsie Roll bank (they won't melt and there's a rumor that candy and American things are typical gifts). For the male officials we need to give a gift to, we got baseball caps with a colorful logo from our city on it (which I have heard may not be a good gift, but it's too late) and bags of Hershey's Kissables. We heard M&Ms are a big thing in Vietnam, but Kissables don't melt and are brand new so we went that route. I feel like these are crummy gifts, but I tried to follow the recommendations. How do you thank the person who has been caring for your child, and the people who are allowing you to take home a child from their country? There is no gift big enough for that.

so behind, so sorry!

Hey, our agency sent us six brand-new photos of Cupcake taken two days ago. She's so dreamy. I can't wait to kiss her chubby cheeks. If you want to see them, I posted them in her private gallery (the one that some of you have the URL to). So check them out there, or email me for the URL if you forgot it. Okay, the real entry: First of all, I am so behind on email- and I am so sorry. It's just been so insane around here. I really feel terrible about it. I read everything, and work on responses, but usually get called away before I can finish the reply and email it. I promise to try and catch up. Especially to those who have had questions about health conditions and adoption/homestudy, our agency, and Cupcake. I hope you haven't given up on me. Tom is leaving in LESS THAN SIX DAYS. We've been rushing around trying to organize for both the trip and the potential move to the new house. Today it sunk in just how much we need to do to prepare for travel, and we got our lists together. I sort of got a kick in the ass when I went to someone's site who is traveling to China in over a month, and she's already packed! OMG. I sort of envy that. I could do that, but Tom tends to be more last minute (especially with work the way it is right now) and it's too hard. Tomorrow we are going to Walgreens to buy everything on the list our adoption doctor gave us. It's a LOT of stuff. After that, we are going to my parents' (currently baby central) to pick out Cupcake's clothes, accesories, etc. We still need to wash her clothes. One thing at a time. As far as The House Which Will Never Be Finished, no real work has been done since I last wrote. None. What that means is that there is probably no way we are going to close on the house and be moved in by the time Tom and Cupcake return. I am slowly becoming okay with the idea, even though it's been a heartbreak for me. I never imagined bringing Cupcake home to anywhere but the house, being able to spend her first few days here devoted to her. It looks as if the move won't happen until Tom gets back. But who cares, cause Cupcake's coming home!!

life on pause

I haven't updated in a bit- sorry about that! Quite honestly, nothing is going on. Tom and I arre both getting excited and terrified, but we both feel really stuck at the moment. The house is once again on hold while the builder does God-knows-what, so there's nothing we *can* be doing and it's driving me nuts. I'm hesitant to get the condo ready for the baby because the house is supposedly going to be move-in-ready by the time she arrives. But as each day passes, it doesn't seem likely. I want to get into Cupcake's room in the new house and unpack everything and NEST. I am so frustrated. It's going to be a huge challenge for me to move all of OUR stuff and unpack and make a home in the next few weeks, especially if the house takes any longer. I really really wanted it to be done and ready for Cupcake. 2 1/2 years is just too long to build a house. I found out that I won't be traveling, and I feel really conflicted about it all. I know it's best for me and Cupcake if I stay home and stay healthy for her, but I think I will always regret not being there for her first few days. Also, I want to meet her as soon as possible! Tom is not exactly a long-term planner. He hasn't even started to pack. He's ordered some Cool Max clothes for himself and is thinking ahead and planning, but no action. This weekend I am going to get Cupcake's things together- clothes, a few toys, etc. I also want to go and buy a few things for the orphanage that I heard they need, such as diaper rash cream. Is there anything that you wish you brought with you when you traveled? Anything you wish you didn't? Anything that was an absolute God-send (besides the baby??) I would love some advice since I'm pretty much in charge of everything Cupcake for the trip. I need to go buy a few diapers, just in case. Everyone keeps telling me not to pack any, but you never know. Unlike with China, Cupcake will join Tom just a few hours into his trip. The G&R ceremony is almost immediately after Tom lands. I doubt he'll have time to find diapers before that. Blah- I feel panicked, but really stuck. I just want to be doing something to prepare for Cupcake's arrival. Don't EVER build a house in Florida.

thank you

I just wanted to thank everyone profusely for their comments and emails on our travel news. I honestly haven't let it set in - the only thing that has changed for me is that I'm not waiting for the phone to ring. It just hasn't sunk in that time is ticking, that Cupcake is gonna be home soon. Every time I even think about it a tiny bit, my heart and soul sort of shuts out the information. Maybe it's just too much for me to even process. One thing that I think is causing me NOT to let this sink in is that the house still is nowhere near being ready, and I don't know if it's going to be ready by the middle of July. I mean, they have half day's work, tops- but getting anyone over to do anything is close to impossible. For some reason I can't imagine Cupcake being here without us hbeing in the house. I never thought we'd be raising a child (for even a few weeks!) in this condo. Oh, well, my neighbors will be happy. They are all over 60 years old (I live in a city that is mainly retired people) and they have all been very vocal about their hope that the baby comes before we move so they get an "in house" granddaughter. Still working on email- thanks for being so patient with me!

travel news!

We got THE phone call this morning- travel news. It's later than we hoped (end of June), and we're not traveling with someone I REALLY REALLY wanted to travel with (Nicole), but it's a date and we'll take it. I still don't know if I can go. Due to my Spina Bifida, my doctors have advised me NOT to travel. It's hard for me though- this isn't some vacation, this is a life changing event; a once-in-a-lifetime thing. My doctors are concerned about my back and hips during the plane ride. And then there's the water situation... because of the Spina Bifida, I have limited feeling in my feet. When I get a blister or something, I usually don't feel it. And if I develop a blister from walking, and then get it wet, it could get infected without me knowing. When I was in college, I developed a bone infection from the showers. I had no idea- I thought it was just a scrape. A week later I was having half my toe removed from the infection. I learned my lesson- Spina Bifida is not something to screw around with. But neither is my family. The one thing that is making me feel better about NOT going is the fact that I'll be 100% when Cupcake gets home. That's going to be the hardest adjustment for her, and instead of Tom and I operating at 50%, Tom can crash for a few days and I can really be ready and able to help Cupcake adjust and give her absolutely all of me. Six weeks until Cupcake gets home. Six weeks until we become a family.